


loud

by ChloeGreen1998



Series: KuroKen files [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: JUST LET THEM BE HAPPY, M/M, They are in love your honour, he loves kuroo so much, i just love these two, kenma is the more put together one in the relationship dont fight me on it, kuro loves kenma, kuroo has a panic attack so pls dont read if it will trigger you!, tw panic attack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-05
Updated: 2020-11-05
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:28:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27389470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChloeGreen1998/pseuds/ChloeGreen1998
Summary: "Loud" has been a word that Kuroo and Kenma have always used as their breakdown word. When one sends it, the other comes running, that's the way it works.
Relationships: Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou
Series: KuroKen files [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2000806
Comments: 1
Kudos: 55





	loud

**Author's Note:**

> hello hi i'm back on the kuroken bullshit because I've been rewatching s2 and have feelings so lol
> 
> Also, everyone experiences panic attacks in different ways with different symptoms so this is based on personal experience and how my friends always calm me down :)

Kenma was playing the name game he'd rewarded himself with for finishing second year when his phone vibrated next to him. Rolling his eyes, he picked it up, ready to ignore the message and messenger but then he saw it was Kuroo with nothing but the word "loud." He scrambled to text him back that he'd be there in five minutes before he shoved his covers from his legs.

He didn't bother saying goodbye, there was no point, it was 2am after all and no matter what, he would make his way to Kuroo. Kuroo needed him and that was the most important thing right now. Kuroo's parents were currently travelling for work, like they often were, so Kenma grabbed the spare key from underneath the mat and ran towards the stairs, towards Kuroo's room, a place he's been to many times over the past years of their friendship.

"Kuroo," he breaths, bursting into the room. He could feel his heart break there and then. Kuroo didn't even look up at him, he was sitting on the edge of his bed, head in hands, harsh breaths escaping from his mouth. "Kuroo!" Kenma repeated, louder this time as he watched Kuroo's body shake gently.

When there was still no response from his boyfriend, Kenma rushed over and immediately kneeled down in front of him, careful not to touch him. That's when Kuroo finally looked back at him, his eyes were wide with the pure fear he was feeling, his hands shaking at what looked like a mile a minute. "Kuroo, hey, it's me, you're okay. I know you don't believe that but you're okay I promise," Kenma soothed, trying to keep his expression as calm and collected as possible.

"I'm s-scared-d"

"I know but everything is going to be okay," Kenma tried his best to keep his voice level but really his heart was breaking, to see the person he loved the most in such a state never got easier. Each sob made Kenma want to cry as well but he didn't, he managed to keep his own tears at bay to help his lover.

"I-I'm go-onna t-throw u-up"

"You're not, it's okay Kuroo, it's going to be okay, can I touch you?"

"Yes," Kuroo breathed out and Kenma gently reached out to take one of Kuroo's shaking hands in his own. "Help me, please."

"I'm going to do all I can, right now, I need you to squeeze my hands as much as you can and try your hardest to take some deep breaths."

"I-I c-can't b-breathe,"

"You can, come on," Kenma whispers, squeezing Kuroo's hands in his own. "Hey, look at me, you can." Kenma let go of one of Kuroo's hands and placed the hand on his own chest under his shirt. "Can you feel my breathing?"

"Yes."

"Okay, now, I want you to try and match it okay? You won't get it straight away but try not to further your panic," Kenma explained gently, he released Kuroo's other hand and placed his hand on the other's cheek, running his thumb across his cheekbone. "I'm right here, I promise I'm not going anywhere, I'm right here. I love you and I'm right here." Kenma kept repeating his words for a couple minutes, focusing on the way Kuroo was at the start of calming down.

"You're doing so well Kuroo, in 2, 3, 4 and out, keep doing it, you're doing so well love." Kenma made sure to keep a soft smile on his face as he kept one hand on Kuroo's cheek and one hand on the older's hair, softly playing with the black strands. "You're doing so, so well."

The two of them stayed like that for another twenty minutes before it seemed like Kuroo's breathing had completely calmed down, his eyes squeezed shut as he let himself fall forward, head coming to rest in the crook of Kenma's neck. Kenma encased Kuroo in his arms softly, rubbing small circles on his back as Kuroo's sobs became small sniffles every so often.

"You're okay," he whispered softly, placing a soft kiss to the top of Kuroo's head. "You're okay." He repeated, at this stage, he wasn't sure whether he was trying to convince Kuroo or himself.

"Thank you,"

"Shh, you don't need to thank me, just focus on being okay." Kenma replied, feeling nothing but pure, unfiltered love for the man in front of him. "How are you feeling?"

"Tired, really tired."

"That's to be expected. Do you know what bought this on?"

"I haven't slept in a few days and an advert for my university came up on my phone and I don't know, it just made me panic," Kenma squeezed Kuroo a little tighter, his heart clenching even more at the thought that Kuroo hadn't slept in a few days, at the fact he was mad at himself for not checking up on him but he needed to close that box for a minute, he knew that much.

"Okay, okay, here's what we're going to do, you're going to go take a shower and I'm going to make you some tea and then we're going to lay in your bed, watch a movie and you're going to get some sleep, okay?" Kuroo nodded against Kenma's shoulder before Kenma gently pulled away. He cupped Kuroo's cheeks in his hands before pressing a soft kiss to his lips, smiling soft. "I love you."

"I love you too Kenma, thank you."

"Stop thanking me, you really don't need to. Now, go and take a shower and I'll be back in ten minutes." Kenma said, helping Kuroo stand up with him. He pulled Kuroo into a quick, proper hug before placing another small kiss on his cheek and heading towards the kitchen.

Kenma let a few of his tears spill over his cheeks as he waited for the kettle to boil, sending off a quick text to Akaashi about them meeting up next week. Seeing Kuroo in distress was the thing Kenma knew he hated the absolute most, feeling hopeless and not being able to do something more so. It wasn't the first panic attack he'd seen Kuroo through and knew it wouldn't be the last. Every time he saw their trigger word on his phone, it almost sent him into his own panic attack, all he wanted was for Kuroo to be happy all of the time, it's what he deserved.

He let out a loud sigh, pouring some sleep easy tea for Kuroo and pouring some normal out for himself. He heard the shower water cut off and decided he'd wait for five more minutes to let Kuroo get changed before he went back up to his room.

Something that scared Kenma most was the fact that Kuroo would soon be moving an hour away from him and though he would still run to his side every single time things got bad for him, he was scared about the fact it meant Kuroo would be suffering for at least an hour on his own before Kenma could get there. He made a mental note to himself to talk to Bokuto about ways he can help Kuroo before heading back upstairs.

Kuroo was laying in his bed, lose grey sweatpants hanging from his hips and one of their old Nekoma shirts on. Kenma passed him his tea before curling up next to him on the bed and finding a movie for them to watch. He soon felt Kuroo's arm snake around him, pulling him closer towards him and Kenma immediately nuzzled up to Kuroo's chest.

"I love you so much Kenma,"

"I love you too Kuroo, I'm sorry that I haven't been around as much as you've obviously needed me to be."

"Please, let's not do this. It's my fault, I should have told you I wanted you to stay over and I didn't so, don't blame yourself, I'm just stressed, I'm sorry I'm rambling now," Kuroo explained, a small chuckle slipping out.

"Well, you are a bit of a rambler look at when you confessed," Kenma joked, poking his elbow lightly into Kuroo's stomach.

"Oh God, don't remind me," Kuroo groaned, burying his face in Kenma's hair.

"You're the one who ran off and didn't let me say anything," Kenma laughed, "you're such a dork Kuroo, I swear."

"Yeah but I'm your dork,"

"You're also so cheesy,"

"But you love me anyway."

"God knows why," Kenma joked, reaching up to press a kiss to Kuroo's pouting lips. "Come on, it's sleep time now, I'm tired."

"When are you not tired?"

"Not the point," Kenma breathed, snuggling further down into Kuroo's embrace.

It was about twenty minutes into the movie when Kenma felt Kuroo's head hit the top of his and the soft snores. Kenma smiled to himself, tangling their legs together and pressing a kiss to Kuroo's cheek.

"Sleep well my love."

**Author's Note:**

> Look at me posting fics three days in a row??? Please don't get used to it because I'm hopeless for having loads of motivation and then absolutely none but I definitely want to update this series as much as possible!! 
> 
> Also, there should be an update on my Iwaoi fic soon, hopefully by the end of the week but I'm a little behind there.
> 
> I hope you're all having a great day! Thank you so much for reading and as always feedback is always appreciated! x


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